1049 Reasons People Hate America : #54 McGraw not in McCuffs

Honestly, c’mon people. Just c’mon.

Enough is enough.

This is a dead persons ashes, on the field covertly, used to be a bonafide person. On the mound, at the World Series. Where is Homeland Security, secure this isht. No way Jose ( or Jesus, Ramirez, Manny, Delonte, T.I., Mariah for that matter) would get away with this isht. How are people not complaining? What is it ok to potentially get a dead persons ashes in your overpriced hot dog and stale bear because it’s late Pa McGraw?! If I pulled a stunt like this at small suburbian playground that hardly gets used because basketball is better than baseball, I would get arrested and raped. By rape I mean litigation, not in jail, I still remember a high school coach telling me a sure fire method to avoid any of that nonsense It could be Dooo dooo! figure it out bud, anyway read about it here and here.

should get the CMA award for being "That Guy"

should get the CMA award for being “that guy”

SO time to spell out the reason # 54 of the 1049 Reasons People Hate America, T-H-E L-A-W D-0-E-S N-O-T A-P-P-L-Y T-O- E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E. Thought I was going to say country Music, or baseball? No Japan loves the gift of baseball as much as Seattlians(???) love the gift that is Ichiro. I am picking point and will again in the future with the WTF moments that occur, things that make you think, no f’in way I get away with that isht.

Big deal Sensi, that’s not news, where is the law fair?

How true, how true, but as you saw from Reason #1, those places don’t claim to be the isht. This is a mixture of Sports, Music and the ultimate bonding agent, Death, creating a momentary lapse in the very American instinct to Sue! SUe!! SUE!!! The death was unfortunate, sure, but really? Ashes at the World series, and people are sending him emotional pats on the back. C’mon, Dead Persons Ashes on the field.

People will be hurt by this. Some will claim i’m treading on the dead. Then they will complain or be annoyed with me. I ask them, Mr. McGraw made it so people literally ( def : free from exaggeration or embellishment ) tread on the ashen remains of his father, people wearing cleats. So the least I can do is sent a literal ( def : of, relating to, or expressed in letters ) treading his way. Death is one of the Taboo situations, I go there because Taboo’s my boo…wow that was terrible. Ignore that. Taboo, much like most things, is situational.

For instance, if you came here following a link because you like Tim, you will probably be offended because you feel you relate to him.

With me?

Good.

Let us take the shortcut through Assumption Lane, as it will get us to the point faster. If you search for Tim you are probably not to big a fan of Jennifer Hudson , a black actress whose mother and brother just died.

Caught up?

See after that shortcut we are right by the point, there’s a couple of ways to get there, let me tell you a few. Let’s say this rAnt was about Jennifer Hudson’s unfortunate loss, you, oh searcher of Tim, would probably not even read it; Let’s say that you, oh loyal McGrawite, heard someone crack a joke about Ms. Hudson you may find yourself chuckling; Let’s say  Miss Hudson came to a place, a public area maybe ionno a rodeo, monster track show, nascar, and sprinkled some of her late relatives ashes on the ground, you, oh pedestal that Tim McGraw stands on, would be down right offended. Ah finally at the point, every joke you make is offensive to someone because they may relate to the circumstances more than you do. So either stop laughing or take a jest for a jest.

Besides dead baby jokes, those are just wrong.

Halloween in 5 days. Many people have asked me to help them with costumes, I’m helping you without your asking…unless your one of the people I asked then thank you for taking advice and reading my rAnts, if this is not helpful seek help more. I can promise you that there is no guarantee aide will be provided. Being that I am so offended as well as possibly having offended you, I will continue to stay on offense. How about you dress up as a Priest, or teacher in any one of the major religions, then walk around praying and cursing all the scantily clad ladies as well as the men guys dressed like demons.

::Update::Who knows, maybe someone influential reads these rAnts. Mr. McGraw was just arrested for his previously  , Click continue reading for the pictures!!!!!!!::

A joke so slathered in Americana I hate myself

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