Sticks and stones may break bones, but can misunderstood words can cause wars?
Thought of this post after I asked a friend if she was a feminist, she said yes. I asked her why she was, or what sort of rights feminism was fighting for in the western world. She said it was a tough question, which seemed like a non-answer. If feminism is, as per definition advocating for equal rights for women, a feminist would be able to point out one or two of these rights.
I wouldn’t claim to be a fan of a team unless I could not name a few players outside their obvious stars and the coach and likely a rival team. I usually take what people say on face value, so I gravitate to those that say it like it is. This is not what everyone does. Or in the very least you may think you need 10 reasons to claim to like something and someone else may need two. You both would truly believe you like something but it could be it due to disparate definitions.
Is it an issue of language. Do what I consider a definition to not be the same as what you do? Thinking of my interactions with males growing up, there was a certain dynamic. The words did change since between some guys you’d be speaking of sports, some it would be music, some you would be throwing verbal jabs and cut-downs at each other, but the dynamic continued.
There ‘seemed’ to be less misunderstandings or assumptions of what each other was saying. (Seemed at leas, could have been just as bad, for instance there was quite a hilarious one that partially led to a friend being nicknamed Deuce)
Males and Females in sexually dimorphic species, develop and posses different traits. We are one of those species and we undoubtedly do not see eye to eye across the board. Something perceived as a threat by most males could be inconsequential to females and vice versa. Yeah this is more Evo-Psych related stuff but bare with me, it-s just the set up for this lil trip down memory lane.
Back in late 90s early 2000’s, cannot pinpoint the exact date as the story involves cellphones and i do not recall having one that early… exact date not to important for the purpose of this story, nor memory apparently. I was on River Road as my friend John drove us somewhere and one of my first best friends called. I had been friends with her since middle school, there was a time we used to meet in between classes just to hold hand, total BFF status. Well we talked for a bit, the conversation ended and I put down the phone. John asked who it was and I answered that it was one of my bitches. So turns out the phone was down but the call ha not been hung up.
Now, in no way shape and form did I consider her a bitch. Smokahontas was awesome. Nor was it in the ‘this is a female I’m hooking up with’ connotation, as we never had, were not, nor have. Though there may have been a little bravado among males behind it, this would not be an attempt to seem more ‘manly’ since my friends generally knew of my unusually high number of platonic female friends. To me, if my male friends were my dogs, the female ones would be my bitches.
Anyway, as you may have guessed, she had a different definition opinion of the word. None of her definitions being positive. I got an earful about whom exactly I thought I was calling a bitch, much to Johns cringing entertainment. I explained the context I was using it in and after a while, any hurt feelings subsided and it did not become too big of an issue. It does however say something about dissimilar definitions of words and contexts.
How often does this happen in regular life?
Remember that this was over a decade ago and even today articles are still being written about how prevalent the use of the word on tv is . The term bad bitch is used now in endearment, a good friend of mine (heyllo Lunut) proudly refers to herself as this, and I find no reason to object to that description. Things change, one thing that seems to not is miscommunication.
I try to not project my definitions on others, but would like us to agree on dictionary definitions of things.
- A list of Firsts in Television. Son of a bitch was first uttered on M*A*S*H back in 1973*. An interesting quick read : Bewildering Stories
- Video of the day : Don’t Trust the Bitch in apartment 23 : I found this show hilarious, Great dynamic between the 2 leads and I like how they had James Van Der Beek playing himself. It is not just Krysten Ritter being gorgeous and Dreama Walkers huge eyes as the last time i tried to watch a show due to attraction was 2 broke girls due to Kat Dennings it failed, attracted does not equate to entertained. Boo on laugh tracks!!!
dat neck tho…ok this next clip makes me better understand why the show didn’t make it past 2 seasons