Two posts on abuse of children in a row? Ah, you sure don’t want people to actually read your blog do you?
Video below and some comments and opinions after.
Here are some experts from the comments section in the video. I long tried to justify my childhood experiences and am familiar with some of these. I know it could have been much worse, my parents and others surely endured worse, but that does not make it a positive.
I’m not taking a side on this, but why is it, without a doubt, the worst behaved children belong to parents who don’t believe in spanking. If you disagree with that, you clearly haven’t been around many children.
“I’m not taking a side” then proceeds to take one. Questions “but why is it” then provides an answer, “without a doubt.” Uses “believe in spanking” since this is a statement of faith that sets it up as something to be believed without evidence. Then restating that they are on a side and any disagreement to that side means you are not even qualified to speak on the subject.
I doubt they are a parent yet. I’d guess is someone in late teens or early 20’s that was hit as a child.
My sister NEVER spanked her kids… Now both are very unstable… I spanked MY kid when needed… and she’s a VERY stable attorney, engaged to a Doctor…. Proverbs 13:24 … He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
Not spanking does not mean not disciplining. Hitting children and other forms of physically dominating them is a way to avoid discipline. As for seemingly successful adults that were abused, this happens inspite and/or despite he abuse, not due to it. It also ignores the countless people do not hear about that were abused and cannot account for how great these people may have been had they been raised peacefully. (ah, is becoming almost thematic of the blog? Not apologizing as this is a very important issue)
When people CAPITALIZE randomly…
This may be using the sisters lack of spanking to avoid coming to terms with the abuse they likely endured as children and that they subjected their children to. Then the appeal to authority of god and faith by quoting the bible.
If one is beaten by their primary caregivers, who are essentially gods to children, it raises the chance that they can accept the existence of all powerful loving beings that also commits, instructs or lets harm and suffering come to those they supposedly care for. They can imagine a loving abusively.
I could not. I tried, and tried. It does not exist.
You can not abuse that which you love.
When I was a kid and my mom hit me, she said, “I don’t expect this to change your behavior, but it’s sure gonna make me feel a lot better!” LOL
A reply to this was to this was:
That’s child abuse, not spanking. Spanking is punishment for an action you knew was wrong and ignored the warning anyway. Child abuse is attempting to cause physical damage or joy of violence. They’re not the same thing. I got a Hickory Switch to the legs myself. I wasn’t a bad kid but I deserved every last one of my switchens.
Abuse discussed humorously. From recollection this is a regular topic of many comedians. Mostly of certain ethnically and culturally diverse backgrounds. Abuse though is not funny. I am of the belief that if anything can be joked about, then everything can. It is up to the joker to find the right context. This forum was not one.
Now the reply to the initial comment used to be me. I shall discuss this more with my folks to get more clarity on it, but used to tell people that I had been beaten for doing things I knew were wrong. It was a rationalization after the fact. Did it happen right after the, during or while waiting for the beating? Maybe before while thinking of or actually getting the ‘switch’ that would soon be used to ‘discipline’ me? Was it some days after, when the pain and memory had somewhat subsided and my parents were then providing me a meal I liked?
Was it then, I thought that I’d rather remember this good part of our relationship. Remember that they enable me to live. My providers. My gods. Surely that is a good thing, they are good. So that previous beating, that must have been something I did wrong.
Take the time to read some of the comments to the video. So many rationalizations, attempts to lessen the severity of abuse, use different words… Look, I am not stating that all you have to do to be a good parent is not hit your child, I am saying that hitting children is not a part of good parenting.
Stating that there is a lot more to good health than not smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day is not the same as saying there is a lot more to good health than smoking 2 packs of cigarettes a day.
Some bad parents do not hit, some good parents do hit. The bad would be worse if they began to hit the good would be better if they stopped.
Thank you for reading.