With Friends like these…

why fear enemies?

Healthy Relationships

This is something I am doing for mental health awareness…
Many say: “If you need anything, don’t hesitate, I’ll be there for you.” I ask you to take account of those you know and ask how many people you know would and have said that, and how many would you do or say that to? Now that statement is often for the worst and hardest of times, but in the good times what makes you believe this statement of them or made by yourself?

I have been lucky to have met people I can discuss important principled topics with in the past and quite a few lately. Some topics that are stereotypical defined as taboo have in my experience been those that define and form the foundations for true friendships and connections.

Be glad for those you can share your mind fully with, in the best of times, for they are likely to be there in the worst, or even better help prevent the avoidable things that could lead to them.

Friends share Friends

In my experience once you base friendships on principles you have little worry about your friends meeting your other friends. Since you have based them on common virtues and understanding of overreaching and substantial topics, beliefs and values you can comfortably introduce 2 friends that have never met, walk away to tend to somehtign else and have a good expectation that they will hit it off. In the very least they will be civil and at most be engaged in some healthy banter if there are things they disagree on when you come back.

I will add a caveat that it is possible that you are also surrounded with surface level friends that may not have much to butt heads over or disagree upon. So it is also possible they’d both not decide to speak of anything more in depth than what team they like or some other relatively bland popular topics.

A good test is to ask yourselves if there are any good friends you would never want to meet. Or that you think would need supervision if they did. I will challenge you and say that at least one if not both of those people are not really your friend. Especially if this involves a friend who you do not want to introduce your romantic partner to.

Friends share Partners?

Likely mentioned this before but there here are three issues I first experienced as early as middle and high school. One thing would be the occurrence of a who liked the guy her ‘best-friend’ was dating, end up hooking up with him and then dating the guy. This strains the friendship only for the girl to later be surprised at the guy being unfaithful to her with sometimes the same ‘best-friend’ he was initially dating.

This sometimes lead to the second issue. I at times would be acquainted with two or more of the involved parties. In one case a disappointed and confused girl asked me what to do about her errant luv, of who I had a longer and arguably (at the time) stronger relationship with. I asked her If we would still be friends If i had done something equivalent to her. I think she answered no, but I left it at that.

Third issue, is more of a male competitive and protective nature thing. Male friend asks me to put in some good words to about them to a female friend I speak to. After they begin dating I continue talking to the girl. The guy begins to suspect or accuse me of trying to break them up or seduce the girl. Though today as I did back then, I think a proper relationship should be with your best friend, which may reduce your need to speak to others as much, I do not think this was the conscious driving force behind their objections. This in no small part due to their knowledge or participation in the scenarios mentioned in the first issue*.

Conclusion

Got a 15 year high school reunion coming up. Some of the scenarios mentioned above involved some people I may see. Unsure if I had the ability back then to form actual solid friendships, but have maintained contact with quite a few people thanks to the conveniences of modern tech. It is interesting which relationships endured and for what reasons. As well as the ones that formed after we were in school.

I like many of you had imaginary friends as a kid. Mine were rather elaborate and some were shared with my older brother. I still had some to the point where I created a universe where they exist. As for reality, how do you know a real friend unless you give them a chance to say things you may not want to hear?

gangss.jpg

Well thanks for reading. Hmm wonder how many from high school actually will read this. For now likely not that many as I was quite incomplete back then 🙂 I have since achieved more self-awareness of which i have been blessed to use as a foundation to build some  strong and enriching friendships.

  • Just a Friend. Some of you knew this was coming. Those some are also Old.
Advertisements

2 responses to “With Friends like these…

  1. Pingback: ONLY Start Business with Friends | Rant A. Tonne·

  2. Pingback: Wonder Why You are Single? | Rant A. Tonne·

Let us know what you think

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s